


the lesser of two evils

by astrxd



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Astrid Has A Bad Time, Gen, Heavy Angst, Tumblr request, Welcome to: Mind Games and Manipulation! With your host... grimmbutt, astrid is captured/tossed back into the kill ring/threatened/etc, httyd 3 spoilers, moderate violence i think, takes place during httyd 3, the request was for astrid whump and i... did my best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 21:32:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18060530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrxd/pseuds/astrxd
Summary: [tumblr request; in which Astrid -- not Valka -- goes back to Berk to make sure that they weren't being followed, only she gets captured.]She didn't want to kill dragons anymore -- that Astrid was six years dead.Grimmel, however, was a cruel and twisted man. She didn't want to know what it was like to put her axe through a dragon's flesh, but to protect Hiccup from a decision that he should never have to make, Astrid was the one who had to make the impossible choice. She picks the lesser of two evils.Join Grimmel... To protecthim.





	the lesser of two evils

**Author's Note:**

> [full tumblr request: as a request i was hoping you could write some astrid!whump about her getting hurt during the third movie? maybe soemtbing about grimmel hurting her or the deathgrippers? thank you xoxo]
> 
> ......OOF. this was a THING.
> 
> so i'm not super well-versed in writing this angsty-hurt-whumpy kinda stuff? so it's a little rough! but this was an interesting concept that sort of just... started existing??? :0 and i tried a different way of writing (shorter/choppier sentences to reflect the story telling/action pace??) so it's even more rough?!?!? but hey, let me know what u guys think! <3

She was only supposed to make sure they weren’t followed… But now there was no turning back.

(--no turning back, no turning back, _no turning back;_ she’s seeing the world in greyscale and red again, peering through greasy bangs again--)

“Go on. I’m giving you a head start,” Grimmel hummed. She could hear the accented, amused lilt of his voice, though his coaxing tone turned outright demanding in a matter of seconds. “Kill it, girl.”

Astrid tested the weight between her heels. Knees bent, feet apart, body lowered. Shoulders back, brow fixed, axe raised--

A Deathgripper clicked at her, only a few paces away.

Once upon a time, all Astrid Hofferson wanted to do was kill a dragon.

She wasn’t handed an axe as a kid -- she claimed one and she trained with it extensively. Day and night, for as long as she could remember, for as long as she’s been able to _walk_ , Astrid practiced. She wanted to be the best in the village, if not the entire Archipelago. The honor of killing the Monstrous Nightmare (who she now knew as Hookfang) in front of all of Berk was everything that her 15-year-old self wanted.

A dragon killer was what -- _who_ \-- Astrid wanted to become because it was the only thing that she knew and the only thing that she could see herself doing. She wanted to protect her people. She wanted to honor her family name. She thought that killing dragons was the only way to achieve peace, as distant of a fantasy as it once felt for a war-torn world like theirs.

And then she was proved wrong.

She couldn’t think of another time where she’d been so happy about being proven wrong. Hiccup helped her see dragons for what they really were: beasts, but gentle ones. All they wanted was to live their lives, just like humans.

...Just like most humans, at least.

Others were intent on murderous conquest.

Astrid’s voice was as strong and clear as she squinted up at Grimmel -- a stark contrast to the way her heart was racing in her chest.

“No.”

She gritted her teeth. She was supposed to drop her axe. It was supposed to be part of the statement, only she didn’t.

(In fact, as Astrid dropped her gaze to stare down the dragon before her, her fingers tightened around the handle. But she already said no and that was enough.)

“You misunderstand. You have no choice,” Grimmel hissed. “At least, the choice should be obvious. Your life or the dragon’s? Deathgrippers are a ruthless breed, you know. _Monsters._ ”

...She knew that. She _knew_ that. Under his control or not, if she wanted to get out of this, they’d be a problem for her. Even if she could manage to get it free, there was no telling how it or the rest of its pack would react. These weren’t like other dragons, but (or rather, _so_ ) Astrid struggled with herself--

“The number of dragons that this one has slaughtered and taken as meals. You call yourself an ally of their kind, yet you are hesitating at the opportunity to erase one more _dragon killer_ from existence? You are more confused than I thought, girl.”

So they were different. They were nasty. Did that make it okay?

It was her life or its life -- she was even mentally referring to it as _it._ Was that something? Did that make it better?

Astrid knew that she was capable. She could kill it. What was one dragon’s life in the name of peace? What was one dragon’s life in the name of all of the others that it had and would have killed?

...But was that fair? Was that right? Should she at least try to save it? Hiccup would, wouldn’t he?

Hiccup would understand if she... He’d have to, because if she did, it would be because she had to--

“Call me ‘girl’ one more time,” Astrid snapped. Her eyes flashed up to where Grimmel stood… Smiling? _Smiling_ down at her. The glimmer in his eye was nothing short of wicked. Her face twisted into absolute disgust with the wretched man still trying to turn everything into a game.

Grimmel laughed -- because of course he had the audacity to laugh. “Oh, please, be not mistaken. I know the strength of shield maidens and the Valkyries very well. Ah, some of history’s greatest hunters were powerful women. But yourself?” As he circled the ring from the spectator’s deck above, Astrid’s gaze flickered between him and the Deathgripper across from her. It snarled and paced the ground… But didn’t edge closer. “Poor, poisoned, disillusioned youth. Come now, _girl._ Get your senses back! You are a Viking, yes? Kill or be killed! You have the upper hand!”

...Kill or be killed.

As a girl, she thought that the world was kill or be killed. Whenever her parents came home with blood and dirt on their hands and cheeks -- whenever they hugged her in spite of the grime that stained their skin and clothes -- Astrid’s understanding of just how much of a threat the dragons posed to their people sharpened a little more. Beyond the feeble “safety” of her home, it was life or death.

Only that was then, this was now. Things were _different_ and they didn’t need to fight and Hiccup showed them that -- showed _her_ that--

_Would Hiccup understand?_

There she was, standing in the Training Academy, only it felt like she was back in the Kill Ring. There was no chain netting enclosing the arena and all of the dark, damp cells in the walls were re-purposed into storage. The shields were mostly decorative and the only weapons hung up (they were gone now, taken when they left Berk) were for combat training, not dragon training.

Dragon Training. Capitals. The kind with the killing.

Astrid’s silence was her defiance.

“...I see. Not a fan of advantages, hm? Too good for advantages? That’s alright. I can respect wanting a fair fight. Barely.”

There she was _,_  standing in the _Kill Ring,_  face to face with an agitated dragon. It hissed and snarled and kept glancing up to Grimmel, waiting for his approval to attack.

 _To_ _kill_ , a voice in her head said.

She felt like she was fifteen again -- angry, headstrong, and though she never showed it--

Afraid.

(--axe right in front of her, fingers curled like a vice around it, eyes trained on the creeping Deathgripper, _don’t look away ignore the dripping tusks and teeth and rattling tail, you’re fine you’re fine you’re fine,_ brows knitted, chest heaving, _breathe_ \--)

Grimmel whistled.

The Deathgripper leapt forward.

“A dragon will always go for the kill.”

Whether she was hearing Grimmel or Gobber, She couldn’t tell.

Astrid jumped backwards as its stinger slammed into stone instead of her chest. Unlike the first time she was attacked by one of these dragons, she didn’t have the few extra seconds that came with its tail getting stuck between shattered floorboards. She ducked out of the way of its next lunge, and rolled out of the next, and narrowly avoided the next--

“How many years has it been since you’ve done this? How long has your pitiful excuse of a chief been feeding you lies about these monsters?”

(--block him out, block him out -- tuck, roll out of the spray of acid -- run the perimeter, grab a shield off the wall, slam the head of her axe into the metal fixtures, no time, no time -- no time to think about how easily Dragon Training -- Dragon _Killing --_  was coming back to her--)

“We both know what you are,” he boomed. “You know what must be done. So do it _right.”_

In the seconds she had between shots and strikes, she thought about Hiccup, about the things he did all those years ago that gave him such an edge over the dragons; she thought about everything she’s learned in the past six years, she thought about ways to try and get close enough to yank off that harness--

“All this time living among them and you’ve forgotten your ancestral ways.”

But other Deathgrippers continued to stand by, perched along the upper level of the arena. She was outnumbered.

“You’ve simply forgotten your purpose… I am but reminding you.”

She couldn’t think straight when she was so caught up in staying mobile -- she had to keep moving, she couldn’t stop, there wasn’t enough time for thought--

“It is in your _blood_ , my girl. Enough denying it.”

It was a dance that she didn’t know she knew, narrated by Grimmel speaking down at her. Astrid kept dodging, kept playing defensive, but she was well aware of the fact that she couldn’t keep it up forever.

Grimmel knew, too.

“Disappointing,” he said.

She cringed as the Deathgripper’s stinger grazed her cheek. She’d been too slow in diving out of the way and a sort of numbness spread through that side of her face.

“Sloppy,” he said.

He was right and she couldn’t have hated that he was right any more than she already did. Astrid loathed him, detested him, wanted him _dead --_ she hated that hearing him berate her made her want to prove that she was _good_ because this wasn’t something she wanted to be _good at anymore--_

“You should be better than this,” he said. “So many years… Lost to fallacy.”

She grunted as she threw her shield, which was almost entirely melted-through and burning, towards the dragon. It collided with its tail, but ineffectively bounced off.

“You’ve wasted your time. Don’t waste your potential.”

…Except she could do that with her axe, couldn’t she? She had years of training and the necessary precision. Throwing axes was easy for her -- she could cut off its stinger with one shot.

“You could have been the best, I can see it. But you can still learn,” he said.

One shot was all she had, after all.

“Properly, girl,” he said.

“It’s time,” he said.

“The honor is yours,” he said--

Honor. _Honor._ That’s what they called it six years ago -- that’s what they had been competing for. The honor of killing a dragon.

And now Grimmel was offering it to her. Astrid’s chest heaved, her breath was short from exertion, she tried to ignore everything he was saying but--

“I don’t want it!”

...In her rage, she made a dire mistake: she took her eyes off of her opponent.

One second -- _one_ second was all that it took for her to lose her footing in the battle. She was wide-eyed as the Deathgripper struck again, its stinger flying straight for her -- instead of evading, she raised her axe -- she didn’t notice, obviously, but Grimmel leaned forward -- all she had to do was _swing--_

But the Deathgripper snatched back its tail. Her weapon was caught in the barbs surrounding its stinger and -- and it was torn out of her hands.

_“No!”_

One second, it was lunging. One second, she was throttled into the ground.

(--the wind was ripped from her chest as her back slammed into the stone -- her vision blurred when her head collided only seconds after, tears sprung to her eyes on their own volition--)

One second, a set of tusks were threatening to cage her head against the floor -- teeth were bared, its tongue lolling -- a mix of saliva and acid, residual from its last spray, dripped from its gaping maw as it snarled above her -- it dribbled onto her face, seared her skin--

Astrid bit back a cry when she felt the acid bubble and slide over her cheeks; some of it seeped into the bleeding gash already there and the numbness gave way to burning, unforgiving pain. She wrestled her arms up to grab either of its tusks -- she kicked up with her legs, drove her knees into its belly, pushed it back with everything she had, craned her neck away from the stinger inching closer to her face--

(--no, no, no, _no_ , she _refused_ to not put up a fight, she _would not_ go out like this--)

Grimmel whistled.

Astrid’s blood was rushing in her ears and she was dizzy, disoriented, but there was a thud and the scuttle of another Deathgripper somewhere closer. The dragon above her didn’t move, but it also _didn’t move._ She continued to struggle, even as footsteps circled round her head, carelessly treading over her hair. Grimmel had joined her in the ring.

(--what she wouldn’t give for her axe and the chance to behead _him_ instead of a dragon--)

He stooped down.

“I should feed you to it. Give it a taste of human as a reward,” Grimmel spat. “Only I feel that it’d be disappointing -- almost as disappointing as your performance. I expected more, General.”

He clasped a hand over her mouth and forcibly turned her head; Astrid let go of the dragon’s tusks and pulled, yanked at his arm--

“But you will not disappoint me again.”

...The last thing she saw was Grimmel pulling down his Deathgripper’s stinger and piercing the tip into the flesh of her neck. She bit her tongue, happy to risk drawing blood if it meant not giving him the satisfaction of a scream -- her heart raced -- her eyes --

Watery.

Heavy.

* * *

How long had it been? Hours or days, she couldn’t tell. Maybe more, maybe less -- being in the cold, unforgiving dark of a stone cell kind of did that to a person’s perception of time.

Astrid was tired.

She wasn’t shackled to a wall or cuffed or gagged. The little room had nothing useful because it’d been emptied when they left Berk, but she was free to pace the floor as she pleased. She ran her fingers over the walls, pointlessly searching for cracks that she knew wouldn’t help her. She slammed her shoulders into the heavy doors until she was sore.

When that got old -- when it was settled that there was no sense in wearing herself out -- she sank into one of the corners and curled up there. Blinking away tears, wincing at the lingering pain of the cuts and burns on her cheeks, at the puckered wound on the side of her throat--

Eret’s words echoed in her ears: nothing was accidental when it came to Grimmel. In other words? Everything was part of a plan.

Keeping her in a room void of any and all light contributed to something more. Every word that he said to her during her, her _match_ contributed to something more. He was messing with her, trying to get into her head--

But all she could think about was Stormfly.

Astrid thought about her dragon being holed up the same way that she was -- maybe even in the same cell that she was locked up in when Berk was still anti-dragon. Was she okay? What was Grimmel doing to her? She had to be alive, she had to be, because Grimmel was the kind of twisted bastard who would make Astrid watch if he had plans on siccing his Deathgrippers on her--

She wanted to go home… But the chances of that happening anytime soon felt slim, especially because she was banking on being her own rescuer instead of holding out hope and waiting for anyone else. At the very least, while she was locked up, he couldn’t force her to fight again.

Astrid didn’t want to fight dragons, she _couldn’t_ fight dragons -- not when she knew what they were really like, not after she’s spent six years living with them in peace. Her best friend was a dragon. She owed several dragons her _life_. Just because it was a Deathgripper, could she make the exception? If it was her _life,_  could she do it?

The answer she already had was “no,” but sitting in her cell… Astrid knew that her time in the Kill Ring wasn’t over. The next time she stood in front of one of them, she needed to have her decision made.

…

The doors creaked open. She didn’t move. Grimmel stood at the entrance with her axe in his hand.

“If you prove yourself, I can teach you what I know.”

Astrid initially planned on staying silent, but… She scoffed. “I have nothing to prove _to_ you and nothing to learn _from_ you.”

He clicked his tongue.

“Do you know why I’ve bothered to keep you alive, gir…” He stopped himself short. “Astrid?”

She didn’t respond, but it wasn’t like she had the time to anyway -- he just kept speaking. In fact, in the new light of the cell, he began to walk around, thumbing the handle of her axe all the while.

“Surely, you’ve wondered why I gave you an opportunity to kill one of my Deathgrippers? Perhaps pondered why I’ve yet to ransom you off to your chief in exchange for his precious Night Fury--”

“No,” Astrid blurted. _Immediately._

She grimaced sharply. Hiccup… That was the choice he should never have to make, he should never have to choose between herself or Toothless because he’d rip himself apart for it either way and gods, _gods_ no, she couldn’t, he couldn’t -- her fingers trembled and she felt her heart splinter--

Grimmel laughed and was in front of her in a matter of seconds. Though she faced away from him, he forced her to look up with the blade of her axe under her chin.

(Her eyes drifted past him, to the open doors of her cell. Making a break for it was a possibility and he was armed only with her own weapon -- she could take it from him, she could lock him up instead. She could find Stormfly and make it out--

...Two pairs of Deathgripper pincers edged around either corner.)

“You are more useful alive -- and much more useful than a mere bargaining chip,” he continued. “I’m capable of acquiring the Night Fury on my own terms, but this industry -- it’s so _starved_ for quality hunters. You understand, yes? Incompetent buffoons, all of them. But you…”

He smiled at her. She wanted to punch him.

“You have potential to be great.”

He dropped her axe at her feet and walked to the doors of the cell.

“So you see, to get what I want, I have options. I can destroy Chief Hiccup and force him to _try_ and choose between two lives…” Grimmel trailed off. “Or I can let you decide. You can spare him the pain and make the decision for him.”

Cold horror gripped her heart as she… As…

No. _No._ Astrid slowly shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself. It’d be an impossible choice for him and she knew it -- it wasn’t fair or right, Astrid could never actively, willingly put Hiccup in a position where he’d have to _pick_ between _\--_

It wasn’t a matter of her pride. It wasn’t a matter of how much he loved her being weighed against how much he loved Toothless. Never, _never_ did she want Hiccup to have to--to--

She closed one of her hands over her mouth.

Let herself become a tool in vicious emotional warfare. Ruin Hiccup. Devastate him with a heinous, unthinkable, no-win decision.

...Or potentially betray all of Berk. Turn herself into the enemy of her people and of dragons -- but protect Hiccup from a pain that he should never have to experience. Protect Toothless. Protection through treachery.

It would hurt him if she defected, Astrid reasoned.

But it would hurt him more if he had to choose. 

Hot tears spilled over stinging, semi-numb cheeks. It’d only be an assurance to Grimmel until she came up with a plan to break out, right? He couldn't force her to do anything despicable if she freed herself. All she had to do was find Stormfly, fight her way out, and she’d be free, but -- just -- the very _idea_ of Grimmel using her to hurt him -- Astrid crumbled, crumpled--

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t.”

Time. _Time_. All she needed to do was buy herself time, but to do that, she'd need to say and do what he wanted. 

“Excellent!” Grimmel smiled at her, tenting his fingers. “In which case, we proceed immediately. After your last performance, it came to me -- perhaps you need to be, say,” he hummed, “eased back into this. Clearly, I overestimated you. My Deathgrippers are far too much when you’re this… Rusty. Let us begin with something more manageable.”

Astrid squinted against the light at him. Grimmel snapped his fingers before disappearing past the doors--

...Her blood ran cold when, from the back of her open cell, she saw the dragon waiting for her in the middle of the Kill Ring.

Astrid didn’t want to pick up her axe. As she sat there, frozen with terror, her mind raced. She prepared to appeal to Grimmel, yell at him, tell him that if he wanted her to be _useful_ then she could be more useful if she still had her dragon -- her ears were ringing -- she couldn't focus, she couldn't see clearly, she just--

(Hiccup and Toothless would stop him. Together, they would, because together, they were powerful. She knew they were capable -- if she didn’t take Grimmel down herself, then they would. They’d have to.)

...But Stormfly, collared and drugged just like his Deathgrippers, was jerking her head around. Like she was feral. Searching, snapping her gaze about the arena, looking for--

Astrid’s beloved Deadly Nadder -- her best friend screeched before she charged. 

(And if it came down to it, they would be able to stop her, too.)

**Author's Note:**

> astrid hofferson would do everything in her power to protect hiccup from having to pick between her and toothless because making hiccup pick between astrid and toothless is majorly fucked up....... thank u for coming to my ted talk
> 
> i imagine that in this AU she'd Comply and Be Obedient until she could find a window to kill grimmel... maybe secretly release some dragons that the warlords keep and tamper with their plans/grimmel's venom collars.... but ofc it'd be rough and she'd get caught here & there since grimmel. definitely doesn't trust her.
> 
> but man. astrid being forced to kill dragons again how abOU t tHA T
> 
> (((also!!! for you USA dragon fans: want a chance at super cool and super FREE dragon merch??? check out the giveaway (through march 26th) that i'm hosting on my tumblr: https://bit.ly/2VwQh5x <3 <3 <3)))


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